A lot of people today meet on online dating sites, while abroad for work or study or whilst traveling. A lot of existing couples have to face long distance relationships as well due to career opportunities or studies that are not available in their home town. But how to make it work if you meet that special someone and you do not live in the same town, or even the same country? We have all heard that phrase, “A long distance relationship is doomed to fail”, but is that really true? With todays globalized world isn’t it necessary to be able to cope with a long distance relationship to be able to stay with your loved one?
Well we believe so, and there are so many positive stories out there regarding successfull long distance relationships, so do not be discouraged! Here we share some insights on how you can cope with a long-distance relationship.
Do things together! There is nothing that can replace the physical aspect of your relationship, where you are doing things together such as sitting on the couch watching tv or cooking and having dinner with each other several times a week. These are moments that doesn’t require the same amount of talking as a phone call but where you are still bonding and enjoying each others company. After a few hours on the phone, how much more is there to say as your only way of communication is with words? This can for some be very frustrating and hard. In a normal relationship you would just hold hands and watch the sky together once you have nothing more to say or watch the things passing outside the window, cuddle up on the sofa and just enjoy the physical closeness of being together in quietness. This is hard to achieve when in a long distance relationship, but not impossible. The physical part is not going to be able to be re-created but some moments of bonding over everyday events can still be. To re-create some aspects of these moments in your relationship is to plan in occasions when you do things together. Who said that you can’t enjoy a meal together just because you are apart? Plan in one day when you both cook the same dish and have dinner over skype. Or plan in an evening where you watch a movie togethor or your favorite tv-show while on the phone. These moments gives you something to talk about once those everyday updates are done and gives you a chance to enjoy something together even when apart.
Communicate, a lot! Communicate with each other a lot, and not only through those hour long phone calls, but try and communicate even about those little things in your everyday life, small triumphs or tragedies, maybe you need advice about something? Share all this with your loved one through text messages, notes, short phone calls or chat messages , send a gift card or even flowers! Just to let your partner know they are on your mind. Since you won’t see each other everyday these small things are important to maintain that emotional connection between the two of you, and here quantity is more important than the quality of what you are sending.
Flexibility. You will inevitably spend a lot of time on skype and chat to call each other and keep in touch, and yes this is extremely important as we just described. However, you do not want to feel like you are chained to a leash to skype, so try and create a routine and a flexibility that works for both of you and that you both are happy with communicationwise. This is to avoid always calling when your partner is at work or out with friends since this will make you feel like you are always disturbing and you’ll never get that chance to talk about the things important to both of you. At the same time you can’t keep your life on hold and spend every minute communicating with your loved one, so the flexibility in this routine is important. It’s ok if your partner sometimes can’t make it to your set skype-date due to work or other plans, just let your partner know you are running late or can’t make it in time to avoid frustration and dissapointment. But try to create a routine when you know you will always be in touch and have time for each other but also have time for your friends and social life. This time could be scheduled in the morning when you just woke up or at night before you are going to bed so you’ll make it a routine to call each other and say Hi. To plan in one night a week as your date-night is also a great way to plan in what to do and know that you have time to talk and enjoy each other. This would allow you to at least once a week have some hours undisturbed together.
Talk about the future and set a plan. This is a very important part of coping with a long distance relationship. It is not easy being apart, but talking about the future and planning in things together further on makes all the troubles worthwhile since you know what you are fighting for. If it is impossible to have a plan for the future of when you can live together in the same country or in the same city, try and set dates for when you are seeing each other next time before you leave every time you visit each other, this will make it easier to cope with the distance because you know you when and how soon you will see each other again.
Visit as often as you can. To visit each other as often as you can is important so you don’t loose the emotional and physical closeness, but this can sometimes be easily forgotten when you are busy with work, friends and the budget and time doesn’t always allow you to visit as often or as long as you would like too. But do remember to set time off to visit your loved one, even if it is only for a few days and make the effort even if it may seem troublesome and far away, it is all worth it in the end when you truly love someone.
Last but not least, Stay Positive! There are many aspects that are great with a long distant relationship as well! You get more time to spend with your friends, focus on your career, studies or a hobby that you love. Why not take advantage of that time? Do remember that all long distance relationships have an end as well so this is not something that will last forever, and everyday apart, is one day closer to seeing each other again. Once you do get to see each other again the time spent is as well more valid, as you enjoy every second of each others company. There are a lot of stories where long distance relationship couples actually are happier as they tend to focus more on the positive side of the relationship and really spend quality time together once they meet.