This article is originally posted on LunchClick.
Just like Lane Daniels, Hilary Duff’s character in Beauty and the Briefcase, we’re all looking for our magic men – one with the brains, brawn, and beyond. While Lane aspires for a spontaneous, style-savvy lover with a sexy accent and drops witty statements on the tip of his tongue, we may have other priorities. It’s always great to you know what you want, but if you’ve got 101 items on your checklist, you might as well head to the lab and take matters into your own hands.
As you come back down to Earth, we’ve rounded up a few pointers on creating a more effective checklist that doesn’t leave you empty-handed and crestfallen.
#1: Do know what your absolute deal-breakers are
Whether for religious, racial or personal reasons, these red flags should be reserved for ultimate no-exceptions traits. Perhaps you could never date a smoker because you don’t have the tolerance for tobacco, or, on a more severe scale, an addict because that’s a can of worms you’re not willing to open.
#2: Do know what your absolute needs are
On the other hand, there are certain things you require in a partner. Note that it should be a need, not a want. Some of the obvious ones that don’t come with wiggle room include mutual love and moral sense.
#3: Do aim for characteristics that are key ingredients to a lasting relationship
For instance, loyalty, respect, kindness, compassion, selflessness… the list goes on. The point is to find someone who is committed to going the distance with you through the hills and valleys till death makes its inevitable claim.
#1: Don’t make physical goals
The last thing you’d want to base your relationship on is a seductive set of rock-hard abs that could and most certainly would eventually fade away. Nonetheless, that’s not to say you should place physical attraction entirely on the back burner.
#2: Don’t make material goals
Say you only date millionaires. What could happen? Well, not only will you be limiting yourself to the handful of upper class fat cats and moneybags, you’ll also be developing a shallow affair. When there’s nothing left in this world, you’d want a companion you can live with, even in poverty.
#3. Don’t pull their family and friends into the picture
Don’t go steady with someone just because Oprah is a personal friend or distant aunt. Likewise, don’t pull the plug because you abhor their nettlesome relatives. Remember, you’re not pursuing the people around them.
The bottom line is to avoid being unrealistic and overreaching. At the end of the day, if the attraction is there, your checklist could probably afford some flexibility. Because hey, when love happens, it happens – as trite as it sounds.