Love Happens #15 – “Solvent of all problems”

“Communication is the solvent of all problems and is the foundation for personal development.”
— Peter Shepherd

“She’s always feeding me, taking good care of me.” “He’s patient, tolerant and forgiving - and that’s hard to find.”

“She’s always feeding me, taking good care of me.”
“He’s patient, tolerant and forgiving – and that’s hard to find.”

It has been really comforting to hear the responses of many couples throughout this campaign. A common question we ask is “what do you like most about him/her?” and all the time, people reply with character and personality traits which they admire and appreciate, beyond skin-deep answers. It’s always a joy to see how their partner’s face lights up when being openly praised by their loved one. The sweet smiles that come after, a playful nudge, a bashful giggle or when they hold each other closer as they walk away from us after the interview just melts my heart all the time. (:

Patience, tolerance and forgiveness – perhaps the key elements required for any couple to emerge from misunderstandings stronger and more loving than before. Let’s face it, we’re all human and we have times of disagreement. In such times when we don’t see eye to eye, we may confront each other with hostility, we lose self-awareness and say hurtful things – things we don’t really mean. But it’s too late, we’ve said it. And before we know it, we’ve started a fight. I bet there are definitely times when this has happened to you, because it has for me. 

It’s a shame when a simple misunderstanding leads to a full-blown war. Times we could have spent loving each other, we spend on hurting each other. And when couples quarrel, two people are hurt. It doesn’t matter who started it and whose fault it is, fact is, we’ve hurt each other. Really, what’s the point of fighting and hurting?

Communication is vital to any healthy and strong relationship. Quarreling is not the kind of communication I’m referring to. Instead, I’m talking about a calm discussion where both parties share their perspectives on the issue and where they want to go from there. Talk not only about the issue at hand, but how you both could and would handle this situation should it come up again. I can’t tell you how to best solve your problems, but all I can do is urge all of you to always to consider your partner’s perspective in every conflict. Through doing so, you would be handling the issue maturely and not insist on your position without even trying to see things from another angle. Also, if you constantly do this, you get to understand your partner better, in how he/she thinks, how he/she handles conflicts, etc. Communication should always be constructive and positive and it should never be a competition to prove that one is “right” or on a moral high-ground.

Yes, couples quarrel. And I believe so have all the couples we’ve met and talk to so far. But we all move on from conflicts, and we become smarter and stronger than before. Not only would you grow as an individual, you grow as a couple, and slowly you’d be ready to take on the world together.

Stay strong together! (:

With Christmas Love,

LoveByte Cupid :3