Category Archives: Wedding

I Went to Suburban Malaysia to Meet my Future In-Laws

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Months ago, my boyfriend reasoned that it was high time for me to meet his parents. It was something that I had been delaying, but he had already met my family on two occasions, so I couldn’t put off the dreaded day any longer. On top of the usual nerves about whether they would like me or find me an eyesore, I had a pressing problem: They only spoke Chinese. My spoken command of the language was dreadfully poor, limited only to ordering food and answering questions about the weather.

Oh, and did I mention that his parents live across the Causeway? Yes, I’m dating a Malaysian, and his parents live in Skudai, Johor Bahru. It’s a good 30 to 45 min drive from the checkpoint. Here’s a few key points that I got out of my experience that you can hopefully learn from.

#1 Make sure you’re 100% prepared before the actual day.

My parents drove my boyfriend and I in on that day, approximately a week after the start of the Lunar New Year. They dropped us off at a bus stop outside his place, where his brother was supposed to fetch us. Then, this happened:

“My brother said that my father sent the car for a wash. So my father will be fetching us instead.”

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NO WAIT WHAT I HAVEN’T REHEARSED MY NEW YEAR GREETINGS YET W-W-WHAT?

I had planned to practice my new year greetings, and think of conversation topics along the way. But because of this unforeseen turn of events, I ended up sitting in a car with my boyfriend’s dad in (rather awkward) silence.

#2 Be prepared for different customs and traditions, even if you’re of the same ethnicity.

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I never thought that our dining culture could be so different that it would pose a problem, but I was proven wrong. There was a lack of ladles, and they used forks and spoons instead of chopsticks. How was I supposed to cook my food in a hotpot with a fork?

Dining culture aside, I was also unprepared for the extreme amount of spice in their unassuming looking chilli sauce. Upon trying a tiny portion, I didn’t even say anything, I just ran for my mug of water on the coffee table and emptied its entire contents into my mouth. MY MOUTH WAS ON FIRE. Everyone laughed heartily.

#3 Try not to let the age gap get to you.

My boyfriend is seven years older than me, and about to graduate from university. He’s the last to graduate amongst his group of friends, all of whom are already working. In fact, quite a few of them are married, and some even have kid(s) in tow. The age gap was pretty palpable. I felt really out of place, with the general discussion being centered on jobs, marriage, finances and even insurance.

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#4 The Malaysian accent will throw you off.

It’s perfectly alright when you’re talking to a few people, but when it’s a group of fourteen people laughing raucously with multiple conversations happening at the same time, you’ll definitely be stunned. I even thought that they lapsed into Hokkien at a point in time, but apparently not.

#5 Suck it up.

If there’s anything you’re unhappy about or discomfited by, try to leave it to after the day is over. Don’t create a scene on the spot. In retrospect, I’m glad that I put up a smile and readily agreed when his friends wanted to continue the round of CNY visits at another friend’s house during dinner time. After all, you only get one chance to make a first impression, and you want to make sure that you do it right.

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All in all, my boyfriend’s friends and family were nothing short of welcoming and friendly, so there’s a lot to be grateful for. Committing to a transnational relationship and marriage requires a lot of thought and dedication. In my specific case, I also learnt to be conscious of certain different standards and biases, and to never ever be patronizing about the supposed city vs suburb divide.

My grandma predicted that I would break up with my boyfriend after visiting his parents in Malaysia.

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I’m proud to report back: not a chance!

Interesting way to put a twist to your wedding kiss

Alexis Tyler and Tomy Szczypiorski decided to seal their wedding vows with a little bit more than just a kiss when they tied the knot last weekend.

The handshake was taught to them by a young relative when the couple were visiting Tomy’s relatives in Poland. The handshake is apparently very popular among Polish children.

For Alexis and Tomy the trip to visit his relatives was a special and important time in their lives, as Tomy told The Huffington Post: :

Alexis was the first significant other of mine to ever meet my extended family. I always told myself that it wasn’t until I met ‘the one’ that I would bring that person to Poland to introduce her to our family’s roots. This simple little handshake was a great way to remember such a special time in our lives.

The handshake soon became their own as they added a new step for every big trip or other important life event they experienced together.

We knew that we would have to add a step for our wedding day, and what better way to end our new handshake than with a kiss! Our wedding kiss is now our eleventh step! It will be a great way to remember our wedding day and everything it represented for us.” 

Share with us if you have a special sign or a thing you always do with your Loved One!

Would you consider adding a twist to the traditional kiss to your wedding?

/ LoveByte Cupid

The First Fight Box

The First Fight Box is all about remembering what the relationship is about and how much you Love each other!

Before your wedding ceremony, when you are happier than ever and have all those lovey dovey feelings for each other, you write them down. You and your Loved One write each other love letters, sweet notes and memoria with all the reasons why you fell in love in the first place and how much you mean to each other.(without letting your loved one know what has been written on yours of course!)

On your wedding day, you seal the letters together with a bottle of wine and two glasses in a wooden box one nail at a time. You can choose to place your wedding vows and some photos from happy times together as well in the box before you seal it. During the ceremony you take turns hitting the nails sealing the box.

Once the day comes that you’ll hit a rough patch or reach an anniversary such as your 10 year wedding day, whatever comes first, that is when you open the box. You pour yourselves a glass of wine each and read the letters and notes inside to each other. This will definitely ease up the situation if you are opening it due to a rough patch, and it can come as a comfort to know you have entered the marriage prepared for this day.

It might seem a downer to do this on your wedding day, but all relationships will sooner or later reach a rough patch or have a terrible fight. It can be hard to imagine when you are newlyweds and happier than ever. But what better way to prevent unnecessary hurt and break ups in the future by writing down all those wonderful feelings you have when you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Going into a marriage prepared is a good thing and this box really makes you think about the meaning of for better or for worse.

Tell us: Will you create a First Fight Box or have you already created one with your Loved One?